The edges around the cuts on my hands have hardened.  The red inflamed flesh on my wounds are exposed.  The slight move of my fingers bring discomfort and stinging pain.  I look down at my hands, trying hard not to criticize and blame myself for how horrible they’ve gotten.  But it’s difficult to tell myself this pain is not my fault.

Logic says, this is eczema.  This is how it feels.  This is just an outbreak.  But all my mind can think is I haven’t done a sufficient enough job to prevent this from happening.  I’m getting ready to go to work as I take another glance at my fingers and wrists.  My skin is pink and slightly puffy.  I can see a yellowish ooze begin to form at the wounds.  I pray no one notices today or thinks I’m a disgusting, infectious monster.. Because that’s how I feel right now.

It’s hard for people to understand eczema is not just dry skin.  Eczema is not only a chronic skin condition, it’s a condition that preys on your confidence, plays with your mind, makes you believe you’re something less than what you actually are.  Eczema can leave you feeling down when your skin has “outbreaks.”  It can bring prejudices upon you and this skin condition can affect not only yourself, but others around you.

Fortunately, skin will heal with time and a lot of dedication to preventative outbreak care.  No one has to feel this way everyday.  I can look at myself in the mirror and feel beautiful.  I can look at myself and say I’m lucky.  I can tell myself this can be prevented and I will do everything I can to ensure it.  Having eczema doesn’t always mean you have to deal with it.  Armed with the right information and lots of patience, you can live with it.


About jamiesjournals

Yes, I have eczema. Yes, I'm writing about it. I suppose it's unoriginal, but I hope my work isn't. Please share more of your stories and experiences with me and please suggest topics if you're curious about anything. Hope to hear from all of you soon!! View all posts by jamiesjournals

3 responses to “A MEMOIR

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